Friday, January 14, 2011

new years resolutions

A list of deep mysteries in life

(1) Where do all those unmatched socks go?

(2) Why is it that my husband can't see his piles of papers or dirty dishes in the family room, but can spot the smallest McDonald's french fry bit in that really nasty crack between the front seats of the car.

(3) How come we can send a man to the moon, but engineers still design cars with crevices that can't be reached by the vacuum cleaner at the car wash? Or maybe we need to re-design the car wash vacuum I'm confused.

(4) Why do parents ask their toddlers, "Are you alright?" when they fall down. People, they are looking to you, the adult for the answer. The appropriate response is to teach your child to stand with arms raised like an Olympic gymnast sticking a landing and say, "tah dah" after they fall. Try it; it works every time your kid is "alright."

(5) Why are we obsessed with Justin Beiber's hair? It's just hair people. It grows. He will probably be bald in 20 years, so let him enjoy getting to have hair styles while he still can.

(6) What was in the Snooki bump? You know, after 5 seconds of thought, I'm rescinding this question because I really don't want to know.

(7) Why don't all those "nice" people that wave you through the 4-way stop ratchet it up a bit and pay attention to whose turn it is? It's like the song says, "cruel to be kind" so less waving and more driving people. Are you by chance the same person who stops at the end of the entrance ramp? Use the acceleration lane people. It was named for a purpose.

(8) Why do people want to have big elaborate weddings?

(9) How does McDonalds get all the bones out of the McRib and maintain that pretty rib shape. On second thought, see my thoughts on #6. If the one person who reads my blog knows the answer please don't share the answer. Some days, the McRib is all I have.

And finally......

(10) Why do I make New Year's resolutions that I can't keep? I don't have a clue people. Happy New Year's!