Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Candy

I buy candy every year for Halloween. There is the moral questions that I must ask myself: Do I buy candy that I like? Okay, Okay! That last statement was ridiculous. What I meant to say is do I buy candy that I like a lot? There really is no candy that I don't like, but there is candy that I prefer. When the kids were little, I got whatever was on sale knowing that I could pilfer from their stash. Before you become outraged by this, let me attempt to rationalize. I would make cute little costumes- sometimes staying up until the wee hours sewing whatever fabulous idea they cooked up, and take them out trick-or-treating. Halloween is a serious time sink when your kids are little. Since we lived in a large subdivision with only two other families with children, trick-or-treaters were lavished with candy. Basically, the kids would open up their pillowcases and little old ladies would dump in the entire bowl of candy. It was really sweet, and the kids would divide their stash up into the "candy I like" and "mom's pile." My pile had anything with nuts, coconut, or mint. Coincidently, my favorite candy has nuts, coconut or mint. My pile was huge, so I was in halloween heaven.

Of course, the mom pile would quickly disappear, and then I would slowly pilfer the candy they liked until the only thing left was undesirable candy with high fructose corn syrup, food coloring and artificial flavoring. My candy eating would be interrupted by Christmas candy, cookies, etc., and I would forget all about the Halloween candy hidden in the candy jar in plain sight. It would magically go back on the radar when I opened up the candy jar at Easter. Then I told myself that I could eat their crappy stale Halloween candy because they had gobs of new fresh Easter Candy. [Sidebar: this convoluted rationalization typically takes years and years of practice.]

Now the kids are bigger, make their own costumes, take their own selves trick-or-treating with friends, and like the candy from the "mom pile." So if I want to eat Halloween candy without stealing, I have to buy candy that I like and be really stingy with all the cute little trick-or-treaters that come to the door. I have come up with an infallible way to look like a generous candy giver and still have lots of candy left at the end of the night. Now I buy my candy at the last minute [Yes, I'm the crazy lady in Walgreens digging through the piles with the other crazy people] I get several bags of real candy with nuts, coconut or mint and the decoy candy the trick-or-treaters will choose with lots of high fructose corn syrup, food coloring and artificial flavors.

I shared my Halloween Candy philosophy with my kids at 5:00pm on Halloween eve in the Halloween aisle at Walgreens, bolstering their theory that mom is crazy. The neighborhood kids think that I am a really generous fat lady, and I am beginning to suspect that I eat too much candy. We might all be right.

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